An older cousin sent this to me and I’d like to dedicate this daring piece of verse to my sons and my daughter who have or will soon have children of their own. Does this remind you of your own little set-tos and encounters at your house? Maybe it will help you in raising your own children. I’m not a big fan of SCAN (Stop Child Abuse and Neglect) because I think it prevents us from raising our children properly. Parents are afraid to correct their children for fear of being turned into the authorities and arrested. Soooooo I’ll be getting a lot of hate mail on this; just send them to me at 2700 Lower Huntington Road, Waynedale, IN 46809. Remember, I’m not talking about ‘beating’ children; I’m talking about taking back our parenting rights.
DON’T MESS WITH MOM (OR DAD)
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
It says I need not clean my room,
And I don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what I have to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless of what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
And I sure don’t have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read and watch just what I like,
And get tattoos from head to toes.
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don’t you ever touch me,
My body’s only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
That’s just more child abuse.
Don’t preach about your morals,
Like your Mom and Dad did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
And it’s illegal too!
Mom, I have these children’s rights,
So you can’t influence me,
Or I’ll call Children’s Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.
Now of course my first instinct was,
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson,
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
He’s messing with a pro.
The next day I took him shopping,
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, “Pick out all you want,
There’s shirts & pants galore.
I’ve called and checked with C.S.D.,
Who said they didn’t care,
If I bought you K-Mart shoes,
Instead of Nike ‘Airs’.
And I’ve cancelled that appointment,
To take your driver’s test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned,
So I’ll decide what’s best.
I said “No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn,
To make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinnertime.
We’re having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.
He asked, “Can I please rent a movie
To watch on my VCR?”
“Sorry, but I sold your TV,
And bought new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You’ll sleep on the couch instead.
All the C.S.D. requires,
Is a roof over your head.
Your clothing won’t be trendy now,
And I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I’m selling off your jet ski,
Dirt bike & roller blades.
Check out the “Parents Bill of Rights,”
It’s in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
And why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?
NOTE: The author left out the part about doing your own laundry and that anything found laying on the floor went out the back door. Oh and it didn’t say anything about saying, Yes Sir, No Sir, Please, and Thank You. You’ve turned out all right and following the rules didn’t hurt you a bit. You have no scars, tattoos, or puncture marks I’m proud of you; now make me proud of my grandchildren.
(Associate Editor’s Note – Ray is the father of 5 children – among them are 2 Eagle Scouts – 1 is an Air Force Veteran; the other is in management with Zimmer Corporation, two computer technicians – 1 is an Air Force Veteran, and a daughter who is an IU graduate and now teaches music. None have been in jail and all give hugs without prompting.)