Oooooohh I have to tell you I didn’t want to do this column again so soon but Bertha called and said she was on her way to a ‘viewing’ and she did it right at deadline too. Bob said to go ahead and do it; he didn’t even bother to draw short forks this time either. We assume she lost another one of her girl friends or a relative to old age; she didn’t say. But she was sniffling and I could hear her tubby hubby grumbling in the background about having to lay on the bed to get his funeral suit pants buttoned so I have no doubt that her excuse was legitimate.
Wayne shouldn’t grumble too much; he told me the best food around is found at a funeral dinner. All the neighbors bring stuff in or a church will serve it. He admitted he always eats too much. I hope those buttons hold Wayne. You better take a roll of duct tape with you in case you split out the back of your pants like last time. Never mind who told us; we heard it from several sources.
I don’t know what to write about this time except I did have the opportunity to go to Upward Soccer at Avalon Missionary Church to see two of my grandchildren play on Saturday, September the 21st. I enjoyed the games very much. Like always I got the hungries smelling their fresh popped corn so I took a chance and bought a bag. I will have to say that their popcorn has improved 200%. The last time it was so greasy the bag got all oil soaked. Someone must have told them how to make it better because now it’s so good that I just had to have more than one bag. I appreciate whoever straightened them out. My stomach doesn’t take to grease like it used to when I was much younger. Thanks; it was delicious and hey folks, it still only costs 50 cents a bag. I do think a great big $1 bag would sell very well. Just some advice.
Now about your Waynedale Hot Dogs . . . ! What can I say? First – I appreciate the fact that you are trying to imitate our world famous ‘Waynedale Dog’. Second – You’re on the right track. Third – You’re still using that horrible orange stuff someone calls coney sauce or chili sauce, or whatever.
I ordered a Waynedale Dog; I got a nice hot dog in a nice bun but then someone put that horrible orange sauce on it, dumped a load of onions on it, put a little bit of cole slaw on it, and then smothered it in melted cheese sauce and I mean they really smothered it. Cheese was running over the dog, over the bun, over the hot dog container, and down my arm. I’m usually a 2-napkin person but that was an 8-napkin dog. May I make a suggestion? It will up your sales. Cut out this recipe that Tubby Hubby gave us sometime back and use it. I think we’ve published it twice already.
HOW TO BUILD THE WORLD FAMOUS ‘WAYNEDALE DOG’
(the invention of Mrs. Wayne Dale’s “tubby hubby”)
1 cooked hot dog
1 fresh hotdog bun
Your favorite hot dog sauce, coney sauce, or chili sauce.
(Here we recommend Castleberry’s canned hotdog sauce or PACO’s maybe)
Shredded cheddar cheese (or just a tablespoon of melted cheese)
Put a little mustard inside of the bun on one side. Add cooked hotdog. Put a large tablespoonful of hotdog sauce on the hotdog, add a little diced onion, and put a lot of coleslaw on top. Top with a bit of shredded cheese. Eat, enjoy, and order two or three more.
Try making your hotdogs this way and you’ll not only sell more hot dogs but people will want the recipe. Just tell them to cut it out of THE WAYNEDALE NEWS. So far as we know here at the paper, there is only one place that builds, what we call ‘close’ to a WAYNEDALE DOG and that’s the DOG-OUT Hot Dog Stand over on Taylor Street. They have our instructions taped right on their refrigerator. Oh, and please call them by their name, WAYNEDALE DOGS, not Waynedale Hot Dogs. Follow our instructions and I’m sure you’ll earn 100 napkins of approval from us. Ok, so we can at least throw in 100 napkins of approval for the popcorn, OK? “Later!”