Delbert McLain dropped in at the Mule Barn truck stop yesterday for a quick cup. He was wearing his usual suit and tie, despite the heat. Usually Delbert does his coffee drinking and socializing out at the country club where the business guys go. We’ve been there, and the chairs don’t fit as well.
For the past 10 years now, Delbert has run the local Chamber of Commerce. We all have to admit he was a good choice. His job is to promote our town and the surrounding area, which he does by prowling through the town – his ample belly flying under a full spinnaker – looking for out-of-state plates on the cars during tourist season, and then convincing the visitors they should: 1. live here forever, 2. hire locals to build them a huge house, and 3. to start a business that will hire as many of us as they can stand.
According to Delbert, several things are certain about our little valley here: it is the only place in the world that will grow, our water is so good we don’t need dentists except during our tourist season, the deer in the surrounding hills are easy to hunt and are the size of horses, the fish in Lewis Creek are so big children are afraid to swim there and our average life expectancy is right around 104.