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The best gifts are not always in the prettiest packages.

Some mornings,
I wake up bitchy.
If I'm hungry,
And want something to eat.

Other mornings,
If I'm not hungry,
I get up quietly,
And let bitchy sleep.
Jim Schindler

A Bunch
I'm sure you've seen many kids, who think they're cool, wear their pants down so low that most of the back of their underwear is showing. For some reason, I think that's a bunch of crap.

No Show Jones
Recently, one of the most famous country singers who ever lived, George, "No Show Jones," passed away. He was notorious for not showing up for some of his concerts, hence the name, "No Show."

When he sooner or later, shows up at the pearly gates, God will probably say, "Welcome George, but sorry you can't come in unless you sing a couple tunes. How about starting with, "He stopped loving her today?"

Next, I'll have Tammy come out and if you two sing "We're gonna hold on,"...then you can come right on in and hold on; that way you'll be a "No Show" in Hades!

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