The computer takes more blame for the operators' mistakes than they do. I suppose it's because, unlike the operator, the computer doesn't have to listen to the complainers crap!
Trudy, a very substantial woman and a waitress at a local bar/restaurant, said, "Some guy gave me the best compliment ever last night."
"What was it?" I asked.
"He said, "I sure do love a healthy lookin' woman."
"Well," I said, before I put my brain in gear, "He'd sure have lots to love."
She gave me a dirty look and like a duck waddled off.
That quacked me up!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
They couldn't put him together again,
Cause Elmer had no glue back then.
I came home and checked my phone messages.
The first message went something like this. "Hey Jimmie, this is Walt, (my attorney), you sure are hard to get a hold of. Are you still living, or are you dead? If you're dead, you don't have to call me back."
I called him back, because I didn't want him to think I went to hell!