This week's "Here's To Your Health" is a continuation of Sister Ruth's story. We ended last week with...I meditate in silence and imagine God is right there with me and that He has His arm around me. It's such a good feeling...I enjoy knowing that God loves me. What an honor. Who am I to deserve such grace? God loves me and I relish that feeling.
Some days I sit there and nothing seems to happen. It's like pulling for a fish and finding nothing there. But that's just life and that's the way it is. Not every day is warm and wonderful. But during the cold dark days, if I give God my time in the morning He gives me His time later and my whole day is different. Maybe nothing happens in the morning, but then later somebody will say something, or I will read, see or hear something that just wows me.
I walk around a lake almost everyday and God puts all of nature before me to enjoy. Sometimes a song bird lands on a tree branch in front of me and begins to sing, and I look at it and say, "God, Thank You, for putting me and that bird together right at this moment in time." I'm grateful today, but I wasn't while I was still drinking.
Back then I didn't think about anything, except the next drink or how not to get caught taking it? I took my vacations in Fort Wayne with my family and then at night, I went to bars and other wild places. Since I entered the convent in high school, my friends decided to show me how the rest of the world lived. They picked places they themselves didn't ordinarily go because they wanted to shock me. They took me to gay bars and strip joints and watched my face. I gulped down the alcohol like it was water, and then I'd get sick, and end up in the filthy, rank, restrooms barfing it back up. After the Saturday night party was over, I'd slip back to my parent's house at four in the morning forgetting they get up early on Sundays and go to church. Well, you can imagine how I felt at sunrise, but I had to pretend like I'd been in bed all night and then get back up and go to church with my parents.
Today I can look at sunrises, and thank God for all of nature's beauty and especially for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that has allowed me to enjoy these magnificent moments. Each morning I ask God to give me the courage, strength, power, wisdom and willingness to do "His will" and to show me the character that He intended me to be. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, but if I pray and meditate long enough it eventually happens.