If most folks polished themselves like they do their shoes...they'd be well polished.
When I walked into the barbershop to get a haircut, my barber Skip, was sitting there with his eyes closed. "Hello, are you taking a nap?" I asked.
"No," he answered, "I was just resting my eyes."
"Do you usually snore when you're resting them?"
Kids in the back seat cause accidents...accidents in the back seat causes kids. Now don't you wish you were more careful?
The last time I went to confession, I said, "Bless me Father for I have sinned...you name it and I'll tell you how many times.
The Big Wheel
A Wisconsin cheese maker, Gerard Sinnesberger, won the top prize in the 2014 World Championship Cheese Contest. He won for his original Schweizer Rohmilch Emmentaler big wheel Swiss cheese.
When they took his picture at the award ceremony, I wonder if they asked everyone to say cheese. Regardless, I guess this makes him a big wheel in the cheese business.