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HOMETOWN VIEWS

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Oooooohhhh I'm so happy to be home I could just spit and eat a biscuit. Wayne and I finished off our summer tans and now we're ready for the cooler weather. I'm so brown all over; and Wayne looks like a cute little wrinkled round brown berry. It just does a girl wonders to lay around in that healthy sunshine and soak up some vitamin 'D' or whatever it is. Wayne soaked up a lot of liquids most of which came from brown bottles. I guess as long as he was getting liquid back into his sweaty little body it was ok. He said he got beer conditioned while he was in the Navy over in the Philippines where it gets to be 120 degrees in the shade. I prefer a nice wine cooler myself. I don't think you can buy them anymore; all they sell is that old flavored malt beverage stuff and try to push you into thinking it's made from wine.. You know what a malt beverage is? I think it's just flavored beer; I know it sure isn't wine. Wayne learned to make wine coolers from a recipe book that came from some Methodist Church. We bought it in a garage sale. It says simply to mix the wine with equal parts of 7-UP and add ice. Ooooohh they are soooo good.

I want to thank Ray McCune for doing my column for me while I was gone. I haven't read what he wrote about anything but he is still working for Bobby Stark so he must have done a good job. I don't think he covers the restaurants like I do but then he's still learning. Wayne and I got back into town a little late to really go out to eat at a nice set-down restaurant so we opted for some sandwiches at Arby's and then stopped by Scotts and got some potato salad and two videos to watch.

Arby's has 5 Melts for $5. In all the times that Arby's has had 5 of anything on sale for $4 or $5, I will have to say these were the biggest sandwiches yet. I feel that we got our money's worth and they were soooo good. I loaded mine with their delicious horsy sauce and added a slice of homegrown tomato from our neighbor's garden. No, I didn't steal it; she gave me two of her choicest beefsteak tomatoes. Oooooh they were so good. They complimented the sandwiches and they blended in with the horsy sauce so well that I ate two.

Wayne ate the other three sandwiches doctored up with sliced onion and tomato slices. Wayne isn't the neatest person in the world and he isn't graceful either. If Arby's is reading this, please take note. Cut the cheese down to about half of what you are putting on the melts. The cheese makes the beef slippery and when he clamped down on that combination of tomato, beef, onion, and too much melted cheese . . . well, it flew across the kitchen and pasted itself against the refrigerator door. Wayne invoked the 10-second rule (if it is picked up off the floor in 10 seconds then it isn't dirty and it's alright to eat). Since the door wasn't as dirty as the floor then it was really ok to eat it. I still had to scrub the cheese residue off the door. He did lick off all that he could. The inside of that sandwich looked like a soft giant tiddly that some one had winked across the room. Deed that man is messy. I'll have to admit that the sandwiches were good though a bit messy to eat. I'd say Arby's melts are worth a whole set of napkins.

Scott's mustard potato salad is delicious . . . BUT . . . I had to go and doctor it up so that it would taste as good as what I make. I'm sorry but I just had to add some boiled eggs, and some chopped up onion, and a wee bit of garlic powder and just a pinch of paprika and just a tad of diced celery. It was nearly as delicious as mine but not quite. I've tried their regular potato salad but I prefer their mustard style. It is worth a full 97 sporks out of 100. All their food looked so good in the showcase that I almost bought a small container of everything they had. I think the next time I shop there I'm going to devote a whole column just to the food that Scotts has. I may gain about 20 pounds doing it but it all looked so good and smelled so delicious. I'm almost afraid to think of what Wayne will do with their pickled beets.

Anyway it's good to be back up here where all we have to worry about is either there's too much rain or there's not enough. I'll take my chances with the tornados up here any day over some of the storms they have down there. One day it got so windy it almost blew my thong away and I was almost embarrassed. Wayne lost his hairpiece. It took off like a little sunscreen drenched hairy flying carpet and the last time we saw it, it was headed out over the gulf. Wayne now wears a rubber band over his new one and hooks it under one of his chins. Remind me to tell you sometime about the place where we ate the raw octopus and Wayne turned the loveliest shade of green and . . . well you would just have had to have been there. Until next time. Taa Taaa.

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