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Oooooohhhhh I just have to tell you where we went to eat the other night. I was so excited – until we got there and had to wait in line for thirty minutes, in a crowded space, while carrying around a germ laden contraption 'thingy' that blinked every two or three seconds to let us know it was still alive, and when it finally 'went off' it blinked its dozen or so lights and yelled something at us that sounded like a muffled Lithuanian trying to speak English with a southern accent. And it vibrated something awful. I wish I had been sitting on it at the time.

Wayne said that it was an electrical device that was telling us we were next to be seated in a booth. We had just got seated on a bench to rest when that 'thingy' went off. They showed us to a booth not ten feet from where we had been standing for a half-hour. If we had known that we could have asked the couple that was there to move to one side and we could have taken the other side and ordered our dinner a lot earlier.

Someone had given us a $35 gift certificate to eat at the OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE. We chose the one that is out back of Waynedale and just back of the U.S.24/exit ramp. I wish you good luck trying to get there from the Coventry Shopping Center. Wayne was ready to scream and pull out what's left of his hair trying to get to that place. You can see it from the highway but you have to drive all the way around the shopping center in the back to get there.

We just got to our booth when Christine, our cute little waitress, asked us what we wanted to drink. We both ordered water with lemon. Heavens I don't dare drink any alcohol when we go out to eat. One little glass of wine makes me want to love-attack Wayne in the parking lot, the temptious little dear. I don't know, it just puts me in one of those moods. I could only imagine what one of their 22-ounce Big Bloke Draft beers would do to me. I know I would be using the potty a lot.

I must be coming out of menopause or as Wayne puts it, MEN-ON-PAUSE. Sometimes I feel just like I'm a young girl again. Sometimes I feel like I've been run over by a truck and I want to scream at everything Wayne does. And the temperature changes - - why can't every place be the same temperature? It was so warm in there and then it got cool and then warm again. I think I wore out my good cashmere sweater.

We ordered two of their Aussie-Tizers to start out with. We got their Bloomin' Onion AND their Gold Coast Coconut Shrimp. I know that's a lot to appetize on before dinner but we figured we could get a box to put the leftovers in to take home like so many of the other customers were doing. They sure do serve large portions. Anyway the Bloomin' Onion was delicious. They served it with a dip that had just enough red pepper and horseradish, I think, to give it a tasty tang. And the Coconut Shrimp - - I never knew shrimp could be so good. They served six of the biggest shrimp I've ever seen. They came with a marmalade dipping sauce. I'm getting hungry for some more just talking about them. There was so much that we saved the rest to take home.

Christine came around again and took our order for dinner. I ordered a salad and Wayne ordered a cup of their Baked Potato soup. He nibbled on mine and I nibbled on his. Both were delicious. They put a very tasty dressing on my salad and there was some cheese and green onions on Wayne's soup and they both tasted like more garlic. Oh I just love it. Finally there's a restaurant that feels free enough to actually season their food. Good for you OUTBACK. We finished the soup and salad and the small loaf of dark bread that Christine brought us. We sliced it and ate it with butter. It was warm and soooo goooood.

For my dinner I had ordered the 'Chicken On The Barbie'. It was a seasoned and grilled chicken breast served with grilled veggies. It was so garlicky and good. Wayne ordered the 'OUTBACK Special" 9-ounce cut sirloin steak with garlic mashed potatoes. They sure do put a lot of garlic on their food out there and boy do you need breath mints afterwards. They also use a lot of red pepper on things.

I must complain about their tables and lighting. The tables are too high and their lights over the table are too high also. The light shines right in your eyes. It gave me a headache. The booths aren't that uncomfortable even though Wayne's belly was shoved right up against it. When he dropped food it would hit his shirt and roll right back onto his plate so maybe that's a good thing. He did eat a little neater in spite of ordering his steak 'rare'. I watched the blood drip off his fork and run down his hand. You'd think someone got stabbed and bled all over his plate. Then he had to go and cover the steak in Worcestershire sauce. Oh well that's easier to get out in the wash. Blood has to be pre-soaked but I found that if you use meat tenderizer or peroxide on the bloodstains they come out easier. I keep large amounts of each on hand for my messy little tubby hubby dear.

I like to nibble on anything that Wayne has. I usually do it when he isn't looking. I let him nibble on mine whenever he wants to. I think he knows when I do his but just doesn't say anything. Anyway, his garlic-mashed potatoes were delicious and the skins were left in or is it on? I hear it's the way a lot of restaurants are doing their mashed potatoes nowadays. I snuck a nibble off his steak and I'll admit it was very good. I just kept my eyes closed when I ate it. It was tender and so juicy and garlicky. I got a piece before he put the Worcestershire sauce on it. I think he puts Worcestershire sauce on everything he eats, well almost everything.

I'll have to give the OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE 97 forks out of 100. That lighting was 'bad' and the waiting room was so crowed and uncomfortable. And the least you could do would be to rub some alcohol on those blinky things when you pass them out to people. I don't want everyone else's germs. Oh and did I mention the music? I couldn't hear it very good but it sure didn't sound like Waltzing Matilda or Diggery Doo music or anything Australian for that matter. Maybe if they played something from the 'Men Down Under' or the background music from a Crocodile Dundee movie . . !

What did it cost us to eat there? Well, do you remember the $35 gift certificate I mentioned earlier? Add a few dollars to that to make up the bill and another few dollars for the tip. Money - don't go to the OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE without it. Girls, leave your girdle at home and roll down the top of your panty hose before you sit down to eat. Till next time Taa Taaa.


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