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Don't retire before you expire.

The Dress
(An ad as it appeared
in a British newspaper).
For sale: wedding dress
~ worn only once ~ by mistake.

The Steal Business
I have a friend who is in the steel business. One day, when a stranger inquired what he did for a living, he answered, "I'm in the iron and steel business."
"You are?"
"Yeah, my wife irons and I steal."

Undecided
Last night, at a Bishop Luers High School fundraiser, I sat next to Father Widmann, my pastor at St. Peter's Catholic Church. After a prolonged applause for one of the speakers, I leaned over and whispered this into the good priest's ear, "Father, I wanted to clap after one of your sermons, but I can't remember if it was because it was good or because it was over."
The Devil made me do it!


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